Concert Review - 5/23/2009, Middle East Cafe, Cambridge, MA: Tally Hall w/Deezy and the Brobots, April Smith and the Great Picture Show, and Malbec
This was a fun concert at the Middle East Cafe, a nightclub, restaurant, and bar in Cambridge. The room was reasonably small, and the acoustics were very good from some parts of the room, though not so much in the area directly in front of the stage. The headlining band and the reason I was attending was Tally Hall, whose debut album I have reviewed.
Deezy and the Brobots
Deezy and the Brobots is sort of a country-ish 4-piece rock band. This was the only band performing that I did not enjoy. I wasn't expecting to enjoy them after listened to their MySpace page. On the recordings there, the singer has a flat nasal voice with little range that quickly gets annoying. Live her voice was not so annoying, either because of the poor balancing of volumes in mixing or because of the greater energy. Still, the music was rather generic and unmemorable. The guitar-playing was only rarely interesting, and the arrangements and song structure did not stray from the conventional. The most interesting things the band did was attempt some harmonies and have the lead guitarist switch to trumpet for one song. However, because of the poor mixing the harmonies were almost inaudible, and the trumpet playing was somewhat flat in tone.
The worst thing about the performance was that it wasn't even bad. The musicians are all competent at their instruments, and the songs were fairly consistent. It's just that the band lacked anything interesting and original.
April Smith and the Great Picture Show
This band seems like it could have a lot of potential. The band plays in a pop rock style, but April Smith sings in the style of classic musical and torch singers. This is just one aspect that makes the band stand out. The bassist does play some electric guitar, but mostly plays the double-bass, which was interesting to witness. The Great Picture Show also has a full-time keyboardist, which is used to give a theatrical feel to the music.
I really enjoyed April Smith's singing. She brings a ton of emotion, and the vocal melodies are entertaining. She is quite good at material hat call for a full-throated approach, but was wonderful in a softer song, "Beloved," which brought down the house. The band played up a storm behind April Smith, and pulled off some great theatrical moments, such as a quote from J.S. Bach's "Toccata and Fugue in D minor" to begin "Terrible Things." Just noting, Ross Federman of Tally Hall filled in on drums for the night.
Malbec
Malbec is sort of a genre hybrid. It mixes pop music, techno, and hip-hop. The band has multiple guitarist, and a live drummer, but also has synthesizers prominent, and the songs are built off of grooves, and the rhythm section is very strong. The lyrics are a mixture of the romantic and idealistic. I really enjoyed dancing to the songs (Of course, none of the indie kids in the audience knew how to dance, and it was only me and three other people who were dancing). Their studio recordings seem less energetic and rhythmically powerful than live, but I'd recommend checking out the band if you are a pop rock or techno fan and your biggest dislike of mainstream hip-hop is the lack of melodicity and mundane subjects.
Tally Hall
[7/19/2011] This post stayed as a draft for over two years, and as a result this concert is almost a distant memory. Therefore, the only section of the review that was not written, Tally Hall's performance, will not get a full write-up. Ironically, this was the only reason I attended the concert and the main impetus for writing this post. I will give a few interesting points I remember from their performance.
Joe Hawley was the lead singer on more songs than I expected, including a few I'm almost positive were not sung by him on the album. They simulated the cool vocoder-like effect on "Taken for a Ride" and a few other songs with Hawley singing through a megaphone. I thought the new stuff for their second album sounded a little whimsical, and sort of like some sort of fantasy (as in the genre) rock. This is not a good thing for me. They did not perform "Banana Man", but compensated at the close of the show by bringing a tuba player on-stage, to perform first "The Whole World and You", then Biz Markie's "Just a Friend" (This was that brief time period in 2009 when the song became popular again due to its usage in an alcohol ad advocating against drinking and driving [edit 7/20/2011: apparently the timing was a coincidence, and Tally Hall has been covering this song almost as long as the band has existed. Also, any irony in this parenthetical is entirely accidental.]). It was an appropriately unserious way to wrap things up. And that's all I got.
If you told me when I started this post that it would not be finished until almost a month after Tally Hall released their next album, I would be amazed at my slowness. I would be an order of magnitude more amazed if you told me that this would be over two years later.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
5 Favorite Albums, 1976-1985
1. The Name of This Band is Talking Heads - Talking Heads (1982*)
2. Before And After Science - Brian Eno (1977)
3. Fear of Music - Talking Heads (1979)
4. Ramones - Ramones (1976)
5. Remain in Light - Talking Heads (1980)
*2004 expanded re-release of collection of live performances from 1977-1981.
1. The Name of This Band is Talking Heads - Talking Heads (1982*)
2. Before And After Science - Brian Eno (1977)
3. Fear of Music - Talking Heads (1979)
4. Ramones - Ramones (1976)
5. Remain in Light - Talking Heads (1980)
*2004 expanded re-release of collection of live performances from 1977-1981.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Monday, December 29, 2008
Go Green Man Group!!!
Fly Eagles fly, on the road to victory.
Fight Eagles fight, score a touchdown 1,2,3.
Hit em' low, hit em' high, and watch our Eagles fly.
Fly Eagles fly, on the road to victory!
E A G L E S - Eagles!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
77 Favorite Albums: Introduction
The major project of this weblog for the foreseeable future will be to review my 77 favorite albums. The goal of my reviews will be partly to tell why I like each album, and partly to critically evaluate each album, with more emphasis on the first. There is a major difference between the two. For example, I think Kid A by Radiohead represents a greater achievement than OK Computer, but I prefer OK Computer and rank it higher on my list because Kid A is too pessimistic and depressing for me to enjoy it as much as I respect it (From a critical perspective, I think both are overrated, but that's another story).
The albums that qualify for my list are EP-length or full-length albums that are original studio albums, or live albums. Also, a very small number of compilations, consisting exclusively of songs that are not on the studio albums, will be reviewed. Re-releases will or will not be reviewed differently than original albums in a completely arbitrary manner. The reason I chose 77 albums to review is because my list grew out of a list of 73 albums for a survey by Mark Prindle in 2007. Also, 77 is a cool number. Just ask the Talking Heads.
I'm not revealing the whole list at first. For one, the list is not in its final order yet. Secondly, I will start by reviewing a set of compilations that I find to be exceptional in either their usefulness for avoiding the purchase of not-completely-worthy albums, the amount of hard-to-find material on them, or just how well it concentrates the interesting songs in the musicians' discography. After that I will give quick statements on some albums that, despite not making the 77, I still have interesting things to say about. Then I will start the list with 3 paragraphs, minimum, on each of albums #77 - #67.
Reintroduction
Welcome to the new Meanderings of a Post-Modern Present-Day Wit. I am reinventing it as a music review-focused weblog. There will still occasionally be political posts, but they will be rare and restricted to subjects I really care about. However, expect the same random frequency of posts on random topics.
A few details about my musical tastes:
Favorite bands/musicians:
1. Beatles
2. Bob Dylan
3. Talking Heads
4. Guster
5. Pixies
Favorite albums from the last 20 years:
1. Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum (2005) – Tally Hall
2. Doolittle (1989) - Pixies
3. Ganging Up on the Sun (2006) – Guster
4. OK Computer (1997) – Radiohead
5. Lost And Gone Forever (1999) – Guster
Obscure songs by famous bands that I really like:
1. “You Never Give Me Your Money” – Beatles
2. “Dandelion” – Rolling Stones
3. “Mr. Grieves” – Pixies
4. “Subterranean Homesick Alien” – Radiohead
5. “Bike” – Pink Floyd
That’s enough space wasted with lists for now. Expect a post introducing a major list to follow this one.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
A Link
Here is a very entertaining review of the latest David Byrne-Brian Eno collaboration, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today. The album is very interesting, and I will have a review of it up in the future.
Download "Strange Overtones" from the album site. The song is probably the best on the album, and twenty-five years ago it would have been a #1 single.
Here is a very entertaining review of the latest David Byrne-Brian Eno collaboration, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today. The album is very interesting, and I will have a review of it up in the future.
Download "Strange Overtones" from the album site. The song is probably the best on the album, and twenty-five years ago it would have been a #1 single.
It's Been Such a Long, a Long, Long Time
After what seems like forever, I have returned to my blog. Weekly posting will return soon, but Meanderings will no longer be a politics-oriented blog. There will still be the occasional posting with my unique political ideas (such as that the UN Security Council should deploy forces to Kashmir to wipe out the Pakistani terrorists, but even if they decided to do so, Pakistan would not let them in because Pakistan is almost a failed state), but a combination of lack of attention, the destruction of Iraq, and the utter incompetence of the Bush administration have caused me to lose my appetite for politics-at-large. The main focus of the restarted Meanderings will be stated in my next post, sometime around Christmas, but you can guess it from the contents of the present front page.
Hint: Not the Philadelphia Eagles. Although I will post about them if they make a real playoff run.
After what seems like forever, I have returned to my blog. Weekly posting will return soon, but Meanderings will no longer be a politics-oriented blog. There will still be the occasional posting with my unique political ideas (such as that the UN Security Council should deploy forces to Kashmir to wipe out the Pakistani terrorists, but even if they decided to do so, Pakistan would not let them in because Pakistan is almost a failed state), but a combination of lack of attention, the destruction of Iraq, and the utter incompetence of the Bush administration have caused me to lose my appetite for politics-at-large. The main focus of the restarted Meanderings will be stated in my next post, sometime around Christmas, but you can guess it from the contents of the present front page.
Hint: Not the Philadelphia Eagles. Although I will post about them if they make a real playoff run.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Random Music Blogging
I read an article on MSN claiming to list great anti-love songs, and it is a really bad and stupid list. Def Leppard? Kelly Clarkson? The Dixie Chicks? WTF?
The whole article doesn't rise to the level of requiring a response, but I like music, so I'm going to list eight songs that I think are better anti-love songs than the ones listed in the article.
The Talking Heads: "I'm Not In Love"
I'm referring to the live version of this in particular. The instrument-vocal interplay on the chorus is incredible. "(DA-DA)I can answer your questions(DA-DA)/if you won't(DA-DA) twist what I say(DA-DA)/please respect my opinion(DA-DA)/they will be respected some(DA-DA) day/but I (DA)don't (DA)need (DA)love/there will come a day when we (DA)don't (DA)need (DA)love/I believe that we (DA)don't (DA)need (DA)lo-ooove..."
The Beatles: "Sexy Sadie"
This song is Lennon at his contempt-ful best. From the dissonant piano to the unexpected changes in Lennon's voice and the parrot-like backing vocals, this song is absolutely a cloaked Dylan-esque put-down of the subject's appeal to others: "One sunny day the world was waiting for a lover/She came along to turn on everyone./Sexy Sadie, she's the greatest, of them all./Sexy Sadie, how did you know/the world was waiting just for you." You can substitute Marilyn Monroe (though she was long dead when the song was written), Pamela Anderson, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, or any everyday arrogant "desirable" person for "Sadie," although the rumor is that the song is actually a metaphor for John's disillusionment with some guru. (And yes, this is the same guy who wrote "All You Need is Love.")
Bob Dylan: "Most Likely You Go Your Way (And I'll Go Mine)"
Now this is a real Dylan put-down. Dylan and his army corp brass country band go at it with a restrained enthusiasm, as Dylan sings circles around his (ex-)lover. "You say you got some other/kind of lover, and yes I believe you do./You say my kisses, are not like his/well this time I'm not gonna tell you, why that is/I'm just gonna let you pass/Yes and I'll go last/and time will tell/who has fell/and whose been left behind/when you go your way and I go mine."
Cream: "Strange Brew"
One of Cream's psychedelic blues classics. In case the title doesn't tip you off, the lyrics make it clear enough the song is (metaphorically?) about having a witch seeking your love "She's a witch of trouble in electric blue/In her own mad mind she's in love with you--with you/now what you gonna do/Strange brew, kill what's inside of you."
The Beatles: "Think For Yourself"
George Harrison's call for self-reliance before love in the form of a 2-and-a-half minute pop song from Rubber Soul. "I've got a word or two/To say about the things that you do./You're telling all those lies/About the good things that we can have/If we close our eyes./Do what you want to do/And go where you're going to/Think for yourself/'Cause I won't be there with you." Another anti-love song is the other Harrisong from this album, "If I Needed Someone."
The Beatles: "Girl"
The predecessor of "Sexy Sadie." Its a little too unsubtle, and the deep breaths before the chorus are pointless/pretentious, but it differs by viewing love as a tragedy. "When I think of all the times I've tried so hard to leave her/She will turn to me and start to cry/And she promises the earth to me/And I believe her/After all this time I don't know why."
Simon & Garfunkel: "I Am a Rock"
This could qualify as one of the greatest put-ons foisted upon an unsuspecting audience in the history of folk-rock. You have a song with a quiet intro that breaks into anthemic guitar playing, with a spirited duet. And what are the lyrics? "Don't talk of love/But I've heard the words before./Its sleeping in my memory/I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died./If I never loved I never would have cried./I am a rock! I am an island!" Too bad irony didn't exist back in 1966.
Roxy Music: "Love is the Drug"
Kids, don't do drugs.
I read an article on MSN claiming to list great anti-love songs, and it is a really bad and stupid list. Def Leppard? Kelly Clarkson? The Dixie Chicks? WTF?
The whole article doesn't rise to the level of requiring a response, but I like music, so I'm going to list eight songs that I think are better anti-love songs than the ones listed in the article.
The Talking Heads: "I'm Not In Love"
I'm referring to the live version of this in particular. The instrument-vocal interplay on the chorus is incredible. "(DA-DA)I can answer your questions(DA-DA)/if you won't(DA-DA) twist what I say(DA-DA)/please respect my opinion(DA-DA)/they will be respected some(DA-DA) day/but I (DA)don't (DA)need (DA)love/there will come a day when we (DA)don't (DA)need (DA)love/I believe that we (DA)don't (DA)need (DA)lo-ooove..."
The Beatles: "Sexy Sadie"
This song is Lennon at his contempt-ful best. From the dissonant piano to the unexpected changes in Lennon's voice and the parrot-like backing vocals, this song is absolutely a cloaked Dylan-esque put-down of the subject's appeal to others: "One sunny day the world was waiting for a lover/She came along to turn on everyone./Sexy Sadie, she's the greatest, of them all./Sexy Sadie, how did you know/the world was waiting just for you." You can substitute Marilyn Monroe (though she was long dead when the song was written), Pamela Anderson, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, or any everyday arrogant "desirable" person for "Sadie," although the rumor is that the song is actually a metaphor for John's disillusionment with some guru. (And yes, this is the same guy who wrote "All You Need is Love.")
Bob Dylan: "Most Likely You Go Your Way (And I'll Go Mine)"
Now this is a real Dylan put-down. Dylan and his army corp brass country band go at it with a restrained enthusiasm, as Dylan sings circles around his (ex-)lover. "You say you got some other/kind of lover, and yes I believe you do./You say my kisses, are not like his/well this time I'm not gonna tell you, why that is/I'm just gonna let you pass/Yes and I'll go last/and time will tell/who has fell/and whose been left behind/when you go your way and I go mine."
Cream: "Strange Brew"
One of Cream's psychedelic blues classics. In case the title doesn't tip you off, the lyrics make it clear enough the song is (metaphorically?) about having a witch seeking your love "She's a witch of trouble in electric blue/In her own mad mind she's in love with you--with you/now what you gonna do/Strange brew, kill what's inside of you."
The Beatles: "Think For Yourself"
George Harrison's call for self-reliance before love in the form of a 2-and-a-half minute pop song from Rubber Soul. "I've got a word or two/To say about the things that you do./You're telling all those lies/About the good things that we can have/If we close our eyes./Do what you want to do/And go where you're going to/Think for yourself/'Cause I won't be there with you." Another anti-love song is the other Harrisong from this album, "If I Needed Someone."
The Beatles: "Girl"
The predecessor of "Sexy Sadie." Its a little too unsubtle, and the deep breaths before the chorus are pointless/pretentious, but it differs by viewing love as a tragedy. "When I think of all the times I've tried so hard to leave her/She will turn to me and start to cry/And she promises the earth to me/And I believe her/After all this time I don't know why."
Simon & Garfunkel: "I Am a Rock"
This could qualify as one of the greatest put-ons foisted upon an unsuspecting audience in the history of folk-rock. You have a song with a quiet intro that breaks into anthemic guitar playing, with a spirited duet. And what are the lyrics? "Don't talk of love/But I've heard the words before./Its sleeping in my memory/I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died./If I never loved I never would have cried./I am a rock! I am an island!" Too bad irony didn't exist back in 1966.
Roxy Music: "Love is the Drug"
Kids, don't do drugs.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Eagles Watch and Random Stuff:
ESPN.com - Some athletes are Sundance kids
From an ESPN.com article noting NFL players at the Sundance Film Festival:
The article gets more unusual from there. It's a really funny article.
ESPN.com - Some athletes are Sundance kids
From an ESPN.com article noting NFL players at the Sundance Film Festival:
Stallworth and Brian Westbrook are working Main Street under the cover of floating snow. Along the way, they encounter Christian Slater, one of the Baldwin brothers and Regina King.
As gawkers swarm, Stallworth fields party invites, poses for photos and generally yuks it up with inquiring Hollywood types.
"I've always wanted to be in the NFL, but I've always wanted to act, too" Stallworth explains. "It's a really, really big dream of mine."
"Donté's a fool," kids Westbrook, who isn't as amused by the gawkers. A sweet middle-aged lady creeps up.
"Excuse me," she says sheepishly. "Who are you?"
"Michael Jackson," Westbrook replies. The lady is confused, but covers her bet by snapping a few photos.
The article gets more unusual from there. It's a really funny article.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Thoughts on Saving Iraq
Before writing my ideas, I want to note someone who forsaw exactly what the most important issue for Iraq's future would be before the magnitude of the problem became clear. Stephen Biddle wrote an article in Foreign Affairs, "Seeing Baghdad, Thinking Saigon," that was published shortly before the bombing of the Al-Askari Mosque. From his article:
The central challenge for Iraq's future is the sectarian conflict of today. The two major overt forces in this conflict are the Shia militias, primarily the Badr Brigade and Mahdi Army, and the Sunni terrorists, who are less unified. Their strategy is to kill or force out Iraqis of the other group. The terrorists seek to accomplish this by bombings of Shia communities or mosques. The militias operate by kidnapping and killing Sunnis, or ordering Sunnis to leave Shiite-majority neighborhoods under threat of death. The attacks on public institutions such as universities and hospitals can be mistaken as tangential to these goals, but are actually integral in driving out an educated middle-class that is opposed to sectarianism and are respected people in their communities.
The major covert forces in this conflict are Shia-subverted police and military forces that engage in kidnappings; Muqtada Al-Sadr and his political connections in the Iraqi government; and Abdul Aziz Al-Hakim, leader of the Badr Brigade and the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq (SCIRI). The political groups control 65 of the 275 seats in the Iraqi parliament. There are no major ties between the Sunni terrorists and the government or major figures so far. For this reason, the Sunni groups have been targeted with impunity, and represent a relatively minor long-term threat. If they evolve into something like the Shiite militias, then they will be a major threat and the country will be about to enter civil war as the violence goes from sectarian terrorist attacks to intercommunal warfare.
My proposal is simple, and its success or failure is dependent on two factors. The first factor is the competency of the US military to execute the plan, and the second factor is whether the Iraqi public wants to prevent a war. Beyond that, political factors, such as Bush being a coward and Congress being composed of self-centered ninnies, hinder the chances of this proposal ever being put in action. However, if the US military is capable of carrying out the plan, this will be the last major military action the US will have to undertake in Iraq, one way or another.
What needs to be done in Iraq is to illegitimize by US military fiat the SCIRI for being a terrorist group, and do the same to the Sadr-controlled groups. Then declare that every member of these group and associated militias will have one day to turn themselves in to the US military. If they do not do so, the US military will be given orders to find them and kill them on sight. This applies to every member, from the average militia member to Al-Hakim and Al-Sadr.
One argument against this strategy is that this will push the Shiites into outright revolt against the Americans. The counter-argument to that is that if that is true it will only cause a revolt because the Shiite political forces are not interested in stopping the sectarian violence, in which case they shouldn't be running the country in the first place. If there is not sufficient political support for ending the sectarian violence among the Shiites, then Iraq is fucked regardless, and we have no chance of saving it. However, I think beyond the religious supremacists, the majority of Iraqis think that the killing is horrific and will be happy to see everyone perpetrating the violence lying dead by the side of a road. If that is the case, once it becomes clear the US is serious about exterminating them, those who really care about Iraq's future will tell the US military everyone involved with the militias, and there will be nowhere for them to hide. If the country is worse off six months after beginning the plan than it is now, the plan isn't going to work, and there was never enough American military strength or Iraqi resolve to end the violence to have a chance of saving Iraq. At that point I'd recommend pulling forces out, and it hardly matters what is done afterwards, because nothing short of a massive relocation of the population in all parts of the country and implementation of an India-Pakistan-type partition will have any better chance of saving things. Also, partition is a viable plan to stop the sectarian violence if all the groups are completely relocated into separate nations, but in the long-term it will cause more instability and conflict than a unified Iraq would, on every issue from resources to boundaries to international relations.
And to the assholes who say I only think this is a good plan because the Iraqis are Arabs in a different country, fuck off. If what's happening in Iraq was occurring in my home state, I'd hope the US military would kill every one of those responsible with extreme prejudice. If the Iraqis don't want to eliminate the thugs, murderers, and associated religious demagogues, then nothing is going to work because the nation would be completely insane.
Before writing my ideas, I want to note someone who forsaw exactly what the most important issue for Iraq's future would be before the magnitude of the problem became clear. Stephen Biddle wrote an article in Foreign Affairs, "Seeing Baghdad, Thinking Saigon," that was published shortly before the bombing of the Al-Askari Mosque. From his article:
But if the debate in Washington is Vietnam redux, the war in Iraq is not. The current struggle is not a Maoist "people's war" of national liberation; it is a communal civil war with very different dynamics. Although it is being fought at low intensity for now, it could easily escalate if Americans and Iraqis make the wrong choices.
[...]
Rapid democratization, meanwhile, could be positively harmful in Iraq. In a Maoist people's war, empowering the population via the ballot box undermines the insurgents' case that the regime is illegitimate and facilitates nonviolent resolution of the inequalities that fuel the conflict. In a communal civil war, however, rapid democratization can further polarize already antagonistic sectarian groups[...]
The biggest problem with treating Iraq like Vietnam is Iraqization -- the main component of the current U.S. military strategy. In a people's war, handing the fighting off to local forces makes sense because it undermines the nationalist component of insurgent resistance, improves the quality of local intelligence, and boosts troop strength. But in a communal civil war, it throws gasoline on the fire. Iraq's Sunnis perceive the "national" army and police force as a Shiite-Kurdish militia on steroids. And they have a point: in a communal conflict, the only effective units are the ones that do not intermingle communal enemies[...]
The central challenge for Iraq's future is the sectarian conflict of today. The two major overt forces in this conflict are the Shia militias, primarily the Badr Brigade and Mahdi Army, and the Sunni terrorists, who are less unified. Their strategy is to kill or force out Iraqis of the other group. The terrorists seek to accomplish this by bombings of Shia communities or mosques. The militias operate by kidnapping and killing Sunnis, or ordering Sunnis to leave Shiite-majority neighborhoods under threat of death. The attacks on public institutions such as universities and hospitals can be mistaken as tangential to these goals, but are actually integral in driving out an educated middle-class that is opposed to sectarianism and are respected people in their communities.
The major covert forces in this conflict are Shia-subverted police and military forces that engage in kidnappings; Muqtada Al-Sadr and his political connections in the Iraqi government; and Abdul Aziz Al-Hakim, leader of the Badr Brigade and the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq (SCIRI). The political groups control 65 of the 275 seats in the Iraqi parliament. There are no major ties between the Sunni terrorists and the government or major figures so far. For this reason, the Sunni groups have been targeted with impunity, and represent a relatively minor long-term threat. If they evolve into something like the Shiite militias, then they will be a major threat and the country will be about to enter civil war as the violence goes from sectarian terrorist attacks to intercommunal warfare.
My proposal is simple, and its success or failure is dependent on two factors. The first factor is the competency of the US military to execute the plan, and the second factor is whether the Iraqi public wants to prevent a war. Beyond that, political factors, such as Bush being a coward and Congress being composed of self-centered ninnies, hinder the chances of this proposal ever being put in action. However, if the US military is capable of carrying out the plan, this will be the last major military action the US will have to undertake in Iraq, one way or another.
What needs to be done in Iraq is to illegitimize by US military fiat the SCIRI for being a terrorist group, and do the same to the Sadr-controlled groups. Then declare that every member of these group and associated militias will have one day to turn themselves in to the US military. If they do not do so, the US military will be given orders to find them and kill them on sight. This applies to every member, from the average militia member to Al-Hakim and Al-Sadr.
One argument against this strategy is that this will push the Shiites into outright revolt against the Americans. The counter-argument to that is that if that is true it will only cause a revolt because the Shiite political forces are not interested in stopping the sectarian violence, in which case they shouldn't be running the country in the first place. If there is not sufficient political support for ending the sectarian violence among the Shiites, then Iraq is fucked regardless, and we have no chance of saving it. However, I think beyond the religious supremacists, the majority of Iraqis think that the killing is horrific and will be happy to see everyone perpetrating the violence lying dead by the side of a road. If that is the case, once it becomes clear the US is serious about exterminating them, those who really care about Iraq's future will tell the US military everyone involved with the militias, and there will be nowhere for them to hide. If the country is worse off six months after beginning the plan than it is now, the plan isn't going to work, and there was never enough American military strength or Iraqi resolve to end the violence to have a chance of saving Iraq. At that point I'd recommend pulling forces out, and it hardly matters what is done afterwards, because nothing short of a massive relocation of the population in all parts of the country and implementation of an India-Pakistan-type partition will have any better chance of saving things. Also, partition is a viable plan to stop the sectarian violence if all the groups are completely relocated into separate nations, but in the long-term it will cause more instability and conflict than a unified Iraq would, on every issue from resources to boundaries to international relations.
And to the assholes who say I only think this is a good plan because the Iraqis are Arabs in a different country, fuck off. If what's happening in Iraq was occurring in my home state, I'd hope the US military would kill every one of those responsible with extreme prejudice. If the Iraqis don't want to eliminate the thugs, murderers, and associated religious demagogues, then nothing is going to work because the nation would be completely insane.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Best/Worst Case Scenarios - AFC Playoffs
[Note: #6 to #3 were written Jan. 5th, before the wild card games.]
#6: Kansas City Chief (Jan. 6 @ Indianapolis)
Best Case: Trent Green recovers his 2005 form and together with Larry Johnson decimate the Colts defense and advance to the second round @ San Diego. They win there in a shootout, and the strength vs. strength match-up with Baltimore brings Kansas City to the edge of the Super Bowl. After carrying the ball 450+ times this season, Larry Johnson fractures his femur in week 14 of the 2007 season, and returns to top form in 2008.
Worst Case: Trent Green is still not alright, and the Chiefs defense returns to 2004 form. Larry Johnson carries the ball 35 times for 250 yards and 3 TDs, but the Chiefs lose 27-49. After carrying the ball 450+ times this season, Larry Johnson tears both ACLs and a Lis Franc in week 3 of 2007, and never starts an NFL game again. Herm Edwards isn't fired.
#5: New York Jets (Jan. 7 @ New England)
Best Case: Eric Mangini defeats his mentor in the playoffs, and captivates the attention of the nation. The Jets defense steps up and defeats Martyball in round 2, and Mangini nearly coaches the overmatched Jets to a win over the Baltimore Ravens. The New York media lavishes attention upon the Jets and Mangini. Jets-fever spreads across the tri-state area.
Worst Case: Jets lose 3-14 to the Patriots on an awful January day, and everyone except the 300 actual Jets fans stop paying attention. The New York media goes back to talking about what's wrong with the New York Giants/Yankees/Knicks. Jets-fever is cured.
#4: New England Patriots (Jan. 7 vs. New York)
Best Case: The Patriots defense and WR corps comes together, and the 2006 Patriots begin to resemble the 2004 Patriots. Pats crush all opposition in their path to the Super Bowl.
Worst Case: Rodney Harrison is unavailable to play and is not disrespected. Patriots play like a weary team resting on its laurels, and snooze through a forgettable loss to the Jets. Sportwriters revoke genius tag from Bill Belichick. Tom Bady has surgery to repair a minor tear in his rotator cuff soon after the end of the Patriots season. Pats' fans violate the 5-year rule by complaining about the state of the team, further piss off rest of nation.
#3: Indianapolis Colts (Jan. 6 vs. Kansas City)
Best Case: Legendary QB play by Peyton Manning and power rushing by Joseph Addai cover for a defense that manages to approach adequacy and lead the Colts to a Super Bowl victory. Peyton Manning lauded as possibly the greatest QB ever.
Worst Case: Expected great play by Peyton cannot make up for an awful defense. Colts lose an offensive shootout with the Chiefs. Peyton Manning is made the goat by the press after throwing a 4th quarter interception. He finishes with 350 yards, 3 TDs, 75% completion rate, and 1 INT. Peyton Manning crticized as possibly the greatest choke artist ever.
#2: Baltimore Ravens (Jan. 13 vs. Indianapolis)
Best Case: Baltimore's defense humiliates Peyton Manning, while Baltimore's offense destroys whatever pride the Colts' defense still had. Baltimore defeats Martyball in the conference championship. The Ravens make quick work of the sacrificial offering from the NFC. Seven years after his team fell 1 yard short of a potential Super Bowl win, Steve McNair wins the big one. Brian Billick receives actual genius tag after winning two Super Bowls, and NFL skill position prospects look forward to playing for him. Old Baltimore fans don't miss the Colts.
Worst Case: Baltimore's defense inexplicably collapses against Peyton Manning and Joseph Addai. The incredible containment of Larry Johnson is repeated on Jamal Lewis, and Steve McNair is knocked out of the game
with an ACL tear in the first quarter, and Kyle Boller throws 4 picks. Brian Billick recieves national declaim. NFL skill position prospects want to stay the hell away from Baltimore. Indianapolis wins the Super Bowl. Baltimore Fans miss the Colts and compliment Peyton Manning as the greatest QB since Johnny U.
#1: San Diego Chargers
Best Case: The greatest season in Chargers history goes to its conclusion in Miami, and the Chargers win their first Lombardi, stunning their opponent with the aerial assault directed by first-year starter Philip Rivers and the incredible rushing of LT2. Sportswriters proclaim Marty Schottenheimer to be a Hall of Fame coach, and the 2006 San Diego Chargers are declared the greatest Chargers team ever.
Worst Case: "Martyball" returns, as the Chargers offense becomes hyper-conservative against the unpredictable Patriots defense. Bill Belichick shows Schottenheimer how a real Hall of Fame coach runs a team, and lays waste to the San Diego secondary as Tom Brady completes 75% of his passes for 4 TDs and 450 yards. Chargers lose 14-35. Effigies of Marty Schottenheimer are burnt in the streets by normally laid-back San Diegoans.
[Note: #6 to #3 were written Jan. 5th, before the wild card games.]
#6: Kansas City Chief (Jan. 6 @ Indianapolis)
Best Case: Trent Green recovers his 2005 form and together with Larry Johnson decimate the Colts defense and advance to the second round @ San Diego. They win there in a shootout, and the strength vs. strength match-up with Baltimore brings Kansas City to the edge of the Super Bowl. After carrying the ball 450+ times this season, Larry Johnson fractures his femur in week 14 of the 2007 season, and returns to top form in 2008.
Worst Case: Trent Green is still not alright, and the Chiefs defense returns to 2004 form. Larry Johnson carries the ball 35 times for 250 yards and 3 TDs, but the Chiefs lose 27-49. After carrying the ball 450+ times this season, Larry Johnson tears both ACLs and a Lis Franc in week 3 of 2007, and never starts an NFL game again. Herm Edwards isn't fired.
#5: New York Jets (Jan. 7 @ New England)
Best Case: Eric Mangini defeats his mentor in the playoffs, and captivates the attention of the nation. The Jets defense steps up and defeats Martyball in round 2, and Mangini nearly coaches the overmatched Jets to a win over the Baltimore Ravens. The New York media lavishes attention upon the Jets and Mangini. Jets-fever spreads across the tri-state area.
Worst Case: Jets lose 3-14 to the Patriots on an awful January day, and everyone except the 300 actual Jets fans stop paying attention. The New York media goes back to talking about what's wrong with the New York Giants/Yankees/Knicks. Jets-fever is cured.
#4: New England Patriots (Jan. 7 vs. New York)
Best Case: The Patriots defense and WR corps comes together, and the 2006 Patriots begin to resemble the 2004 Patriots. Pats crush all opposition in their path to the Super Bowl.
Worst Case: Rodney Harrison is unavailable to play and is not disrespected. Patriots play like a weary team resting on its laurels, and snooze through a forgettable loss to the Jets. Sportwriters revoke genius tag from Bill Belichick. Tom Bady has surgery to repair a minor tear in his rotator cuff soon after the end of the Patriots season. Pats' fans violate the 5-year rule by complaining about the state of the team, further piss off rest of nation.
#3: Indianapolis Colts (Jan. 6 vs. Kansas City)
Best Case: Legendary QB play by Peyton Manning and power rushing by Joseph Addai cover for a defense that manages to approach adequacy and lead the Colts to a Super Bowl victory. Peyton Manning lauded as possibly the greatest QB ever.
Worst Case: Expected great play by Peyton cannot make up for an awful defense. Colts lose an offensive shootout with the Chiefs. Peyton Manning is made the goat by the press after throwing a 4th quarter interception. He finishes with 350 yards, 3 TDs, 75% completion rate, and 1 INT. Peyton Manning crticized as possibly the greatest choke artist ever.
#2: Baltimore Ravens (Jan. 13 vs. Indianapolis)
Best Case: Baltimore's defense humiliates Peyton Manning, while Baltimore's offense destroys whatever pride the Colts' defense still had. Baltimore defeats Martyball in the conference championship. The Ravens make quick work of the sacrificial offering from the NFC. Seven years after his team fell 1 yard short of a potential Super Bowl win, Steve McNair wins the big one. Brian Billick receives actual genius tag after winning two Super Bowls, and NFL skill position prospects look forward to playing for him. Old Baltimore fans don't miss the Colts.
Worst Case: Baltimore's defense inexplicably collapses against Peyton Manning and Joseph Addai. The incredible containment of Larry Johnson is repeated on Jamal Lewis, and Steve McNair is knocked out of the game
with an ACL tear in the first quarter, and Kyle Boller throws 4 picks. Brian Billick recieves national declaim. NFL skill position prospects want to stay the hell away from Baltimore. Indianapolis wins the Super Bowl. Baltimore Fans miss the Colts and compliment Peyton Manning as the greatest QB since Johnny U.
#1: San Diego Chargers
Best Case: The greatest season in Chargers history goes to its conclusion in Miami, and the Chargers win their first Lombardi, stunning their opponent with the aerial assault directed by first-year starter Philip Rivers and the incredible rushing of LT2. Sportswriters proclaim Marty Schottenheimer to be a Hall of Fame coach, and the 2006 San Diego Chargers are declared the greatest Chargers team ever.
Worst Case: "Martyball" returns, as the Chargers offense becomes hyper-conservative against the unpredictable Patriots defense. Bill Belichick shows Schottenheimer how a real Hall of Fame coach runs a team, and lays waste to the San Diego secondary as Tom Brady completes 75% of his passes for 4 TDs and 450 yards. Chargers lose 14-35. Effigies of Marty Schottenheimer are burnt in the streets by normally laid-back San Diegoans.