5 Favorite Albums, 1966-1975
1. Abbey Road - The Beatles (1969)
2. Blonde on Blonde - Bob Dylan (1966)
3. Let It Bleed - The Rolling Stones (1969)
4. Arthur (Or The Decline And Fall of The British Empire) - The Kinks (1969)
5. Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band - The Beatles (1967)
Monday, December 29, 2008
Go Green Man Group!!!
Fly Eagles fly, on the road to victory.
Fight Eagles fight, score a touchdown 1,2,3.
Hit em' low, hit em' high, and watch our Eagles fly.
Fly Eagles fly, on the road to victory!
E A G L E S - Eagles!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
77 Favorite Albums: Introduction
The major project of this weblog for the foreseeable future will be to review my 77 favorite albums. The goal of my reviews will be partly to tell why I like each album, and partly to critically evaluate each album, with more emphasis on the first. There is a major difference between the two. For example, I think Kid A by Radiohead represents a greater achievement than OK Computer, but I prefer OK Computer and rank it higher on my list because Kid A is too pessimistic and depressing for me to enjoy it as much as I respect it (From a critical perspective, I think both are overrated, but that's another story).
The albums that qualify for my list are EP-length or full-length albums that are original studio albums, or live albums. Also, a very small number of compilations, consisting exclusively of songs that are not on the studio albums, will be reviewed. Re-releases will or will not be reviewed differently than original albums in a completely arbitrary manner. The reason I chose 77 albums to review is because my list grew out of a list of 73 albums for a survey by Mark Prindle in 2007. Also, 77 is a cool number. Just ask the Talking Heads.
I'm not revealing the whole list at first. For one, the list is not in its final order yet. Secondly, I will start by reviewing a set of compilations that I find to be exceptional in either their usefulness for avoiding the purchase of not-completely-worthy albums, the amount of hard-to-find material on them, or just how well it concentrates the interesting songs in the musicians' discography. After that I will give quick statements on some albums that, despite not making the 77, I still have interesting things to say about. Then I will start the list with 3 paragraphs, minimum, on each of albums #77 - #67.
Reintroduction
Welcome to the new Meanderings of a Post-Modern Present-Day Wit. I am reinventing it as a music review-focused weblog. There will still occasionally be political posts, but they will be rare and restricted to subjects I really care about. However, expect the same random frequency of posts on random topics.
A few details about my musical tastes:
Favorite bands/musicians:
1. Beatles
2. Bob Dylan
3. Talking Heads
4. Guster
5. Pixies
Favorite albums from the last 20 years:
1. Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum (2005) – Tally Hall
2. Doolittle (1989) - Pixies
3. Ganging Up on the Sun (2006) – Guster
4. OK Computer (1997) – Radiohead
5. Lost And Gone Forever (1999) – Guster
Obscure songs by famous bands that I really like:
1. “You Never Give Me Your Money” – Beatles
2. “Dandelion” – Rolling Stones
3. “Mr. Grieves” – Pixies
4. “Subterranean Homesick Alien” – Radiohead
5. “Bike” – Pink Floyd
That’s enough space wasted with lists for now. Expect a post introducing a major list to follow this one.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
A Link
Here is a very entertaining review of the latest David Byrne-Brian Eno collaboration, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today. The album is very interesting, and I will have a review of it up in the future.
Download "Strange Overtones" from the album site. The song is probably the best on the album, and twenty-five years ago it would have been a #1 single.
Here is a very entertaining review of the latest David Byrne-Brian Eno collaboration, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today. The album is very interesting, and I will have a review of it up in the future.
Download "Strange Overtones" from the album site. The song is probably the best on the album, and twenty-five years ago it would have been a #1 single.
It's Been Such a Long, a Long, Long Time
After what seems like forever, I have returned to my blog. Weekly posting will return soon, but Meanderings will no longer be a politics-oriented blog. There will still be the occasional posting with my unique political ideas (such as that the UN Security Council should deploy forces to Kashmir to wipe out the Pakistani terrorists, but even if they decided to do so, Pakistan would not let them in because Pakistan is almost a failed state), but a combination of lack of attention, the destruction of Iraq, and the utter incompetence of the Bush administration have caused me to lose my appetite for politics-at-large. The main focus of the restarted Meanderings will be stated in my next post, sometime around Christmas, but you can guess it from the contents of the present front page.
Hint: Not the Philadelphia Eagles. Although I will post about them if they make a real playoff run.
After what seems like forever, I have returned to my blog. Weekly posting will return soon, but Meanderings will no longer be a politics-oriented blog. There will still be the occasional posting with my unique political ideas (such as that the UN Security Council should deploy forces to Kashmir to wipe out the Pakistani terrorists, but even if they decided to do so, Pakistan would not let them in because Pakistan is almost a failed state), but a combination of lack of attention, the destruction of Iraq, and the utter incompetence of the Bush administration have caused me to lose my appetite for politics-at-large. The main focus of the restarted Meanderings will be stated in my next post, sometime around Christmas, but you can guess it from the contents of the present front page.
Hint: Not the Philadelphia Eagles. Although I will post about them if they make a real playoff run.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Random Music Blogging
I read an article on MSN claiming to list great anti-love songs, and it is a really bad and stupid list. Def Leppard? Kelly Clarkson? The Dixie Chicks? WTF?
The whole article doesn't rise to the level of requiring a response, but I like music, so I'm going to list eight songs that I think are better anti-love songs than the ones listed in the article.
The Talking Heads: "I'm Not In Love"
I'm referring to the live version of this in particular. The instrument-vocal interplay on the chorus is incredible. "(DA-DA)I can answer your questions(DA-DA)/if you won't(DA-DA) twist what I say(DA-DA)/please respect my opinion(DA-DA)/they will be respected some(DA-DA) day/but I (DA)don't (DA)need (DA)love/there will come a day when we (DA)don't (DA)need (DA)love/I believe that we (DA)don't (DA)need (DA)lo-ooove..."
The Beatles: "Sexy Sadie"
This song is Lennon at his contempt-ful best. From the dissonant piano to the unexpected changes in Lennon's voice and the parrot-like backing vocals, this song is absolutely a cloaked Dylan-esque put-down of the subject's appeal to others: "One sunny day the world was waiting for a lover/She came along to turn on everyone./Sexy Sadie, she's the greatest, of them all./Sexy Sadie, how did you know/the world was waiting just for you." You can substitute Marilyn Monroe (though she was long dead when the song was written), Pamela Anderson, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, or any everyday arrogant "desirable" person for "Sadie," although the rumor is that the song is actually a metaphor for John's disillusionment with some guru. (And yes, this is the same guy who wrote "All You Need is Love.")
Bob Dylan: "Most Likely You Go Your Way (And I'll Go Mine)"
Now this is a real Dylan put-down. Dylan and his army corp brass country band go at it with a restrained enthusiasm, as Dylan sings circles around his (ex-)lover. "You say you got some other/kind of lover, and yes I believe you do./You say my kisses, are not like his/well this time I'm not gonna tell you, why that is/I'm just gonna let you pass/Yes and I'll go last/and time will tell/who has fell/and whose been left behind/when you go your way and I go mine."
Cream: "Strange Brew"
One of Cream's psychedelic blues classics. In case the title doesn't tip you off, the lyrics make it clear enough the song is (metaphorically?) about having a witch seeking your love "She's a witch of trouble in electric blue/In her own mad mind she's in love with you--with you/now what you gonna do/Strange brew, kill what's inside of you."
The Beatles: "Think For Yourself"
George Harrison's call for self-reliance before love in the form of a 2-and-a-half minute pop song from Rubber Soul. "I've got a word or two/To say about the things that you do./You're telling all those lies/About the good things that we can have/If we close our eyes./Do what you want to do/And go where you're going to/Think for yourself/'Cause I won't be there with you." Another anti-love song is the other Harrisong from this album, "If I Needed Someone."
The Beatles: "Girl"
The predecessor of "Sexy Sadie." Its a little too unsubtle, and the deep breaths before the chorus are pointless/pretentious, but it differs by viewing love as a tragedy. "When I think of all the times I've tried so hard to leave her/She will turn to me and start to cry/And she promises the earth to me/And I believe her/After all this time I don't know why."
Simon & Garfunkel: "I Am a Rock"
This could qualify as one of the greatest put-ons foisted upon an unsuspecting audience in the history of folk-rock. You have a song with a quiet intro that breaks into anthemic guitar playing, with a spirited duet. And what are the lyrics? "Don't talk of love/But I've heard the words before./Its sleeping in my memory/I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died./If I never loved I never would have cried./I am a rock! I am an island!" Too bad irony didn't exist back in 1966.
Roxy Music: "Love is the Drug"
Kids, don't do drugs.
I read an article on MSN claiming to list great anti-love songs, and it is a really bad and stupid list. Def Leppard? Kelly Clarkson? The Dixie Chicks? WTF?
The whole article doesn't rise to the level of requiring a response, but I like music, so I'm going to list eight songs that I think are better anti-love songs than the ones listed in the article.
The Talking Heads: "I'm Not In Love"
I'm referring to the live version of this in particular. The instrument-vocal interplay on the chorus is incredible. "(DA-DA)I can answer your questions(DA-DA)/if you won't(DA-DA) twist what I say(DA-DA)/please respect my opinion(DA-DA)/they will be respected some(DA-DA) day/but I (DA)don't (DA)need (DA)love/there will come a day when we (DA)don't (DA)need (DA)love/I believe that we (DA)don't (DA)need (DA)lo-ooove..."
The Beatles: "Sexy Sadie"
This song is Lennon at his contempt-ful best. From the dissonant piano to the unexpected changes in Lennon's voice and the parrot-like backing vocals, this song is absolutely a cloaked Dylan-esque put-down of the subject's appeal to others: "One sunny day the world was waiting for a lover/She came along to turn on everyone./Sexy Sadie, she's the greatest, of them all./Sexy Sadie, how did you know/the world was waiting just for you." You can substitute Marilyn Monroe (though she was long dead when the song was written), Pamela Anderson, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, or any everyday arrogant "desirable" person for "Sadie," although the rumor is that the song is actually a metaphor for John's disillusionment with some guru. (And yes, this is the same guy who wrote "All You Need is Love.")
Bob Dylan: "Most Likely You Go Your Way (And I'll Go Mine)"
Now this is a real Dylan put-down. Dylan and his army corp brass country band go at it with a restrained enthusiasm, as Dylan sings circles around his (ex-)lover. "You say you got some other/kind of lover, and yes I believe you do./You say my kisses, are not like his/well this time I'm not gonna tell you, why that is/I'm just gonna let you pass/Yes and I'll go last/and time will tell/who has fell/and whose been left behind/when you go your way and I go mine."
Cream: "Strange Brew"
One of Cream's psychedelic blues classics. In case the title doesn't tip you off, the lyrics make it clear enough the song is (metaphorically?) about having a witch seeking your love "She's a witch of trouble in electric blue/In her own mad mind she's in love with you--with you/now what you gonna do/Strange brew, kill what's inside of you."
The Beatles: "Think For Yourself"
George Harrison's call for self-reliance before love in the form of a 2-and-a-half minute pop song from Rubber Soul. "I've got a word or two/To say about the things that you do./You're telling all those lies/About the good things that we can have/If we close our eyes./Do what you want to do/And go where you're going to/Think for yourself/'Cause I won't be there with you." Another anti-love song is the other Harrisong from this album, "If I Needed Someone."
The Beatles: "Girl"
The predecessor of "Sexy Sadie." Its a little too unsubtle, and the deep breaths before the chorus are pointless/pretentious, but it differs by viewing love as a tragedy. "When I think of all the times I've tried so hard to leave her/She will turn to me and start to cry/And she promises the earth to me/And I believe her/After all this time I don't know why."
Simon & Garfunkel: "I Am a Rock"
This could qualify as one of the greatest put-ons foisted upon an unsuspecting audience in the history of folk-rock. You have a song with a quiet intro that breaks into anthemic guitar playing, with a spirited duet. And what are the lyrics? "Don't talk of love/But I've heard the words before./Its sleeping in my memory/I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died./If I never loved I never would have cried./I am a rock! I am an island!" Too bad irony didn't exist back in 1966.
Roxy Music: "Love is the Drug"
Kids, don't do drugs.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Eagles Watch and Random Stuff:
ESPN.com - Some athletes are Sundance kids
From an ESPN.com article noting NFL players at the Sundance Film Festival:
The article gets more unusual from there. It's a really funny article.
ESPN.com - Some athletes are Sundance kids
From an ESPN.com article noting NFL players at the Sundance Film Festival:
Stallworth and Brian Westbrook are working Main Street under the cover of floating snow. Along the way, they encounter Christian Slater, one of the Baldwin brothers and Regina King.
As gawkers swarm, Stallworth fields party invites, poses for photos and generally yuks it up with inquiring Hollywood types.
"I've always wanted to be in the NFL, but I've always wanted to act, too" Stallworth explains. "It's a really, really big dream of mine."
"Donté's a fool," kids Westbrook, who isn't as amused by the gawkers. A sweet middle-aged lady creeps up.
"Excuse me," she says sheepishly. "Who are you?"
"Michael Jackson," Westbrook replies. The lady is confused, but covers her bet by snapping a few photos.
The article gets more unusual from there. It's a really funny article.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Thoughts on Saving Iraq
Before writing my ideas, I want to note someone who forsaw exactly what the most important issue for Iraq's future would be before the magnitude of the problem became clear. Stephen Biddle wrote an article in Foreign Affairs, "Seeing Baghdad, Thinking Saigon," that was published shortly before the bombing of the Al-Askari Mosque. From his article:
The central challenge for Iraq's future is the sectarian conflict of today. The two major overt forces in this conflict are the Shia militias, primarily the Badr Brigade and Mahdi Army, and the Sunni terrorists, who are less unified. Their strategy is to kill or force out Iraqis of the other group. The terrorists seek to accomplish this by bombings of Shia communities or mosques. The militias operate by kidnapping and killing Sunnis, or ordering Sunnis to leave Shiite-majority neighborhoods under threat of death. The attacks on public institutions such as universities and hospitals can be mistaken as tangential to these goals, but are actually integral in driving out an educated middle-class that is opposed to sectarianism and are respected people in their communities.
The major covert forces in this conflict are Shia-subverted police and military forces that engage in kidnappings; Muqtada Al-Sadr and his political connections in the Iraqi government; and Abdul Aziz Al-Hakim, leader of the Badr Brigade and the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq (SCIRI). The political groups control 65 of the 275 seats in the Iraqi parliament. There are no major ties between the Sunni terrorists and the government or major figures so far. For this reason, the Sunni groups have been targeted with impunity, and represent a relatively minor long-term threat. If they evolve into something like the Shiite militias, then they will be a major threat and the country will be about to enter civil war as the violence goes from sectarian terrorist attacks to intercommunal warfare.
My proposal is simple, and its success or failure is dependent on two factors. The first factor is the competency of the US military to execute the plan, and the second factor is whether the Iraqi public wants to prevent a war. Beyond that, political factors, such as Bush being a coward and Congress being composed of self-centered ninnies, hinder the chances of this proposal ever being put in action. However, if the US military is capable of carrying out the plan, this will be the last major military action the US will have to undertake in Iraq, one way or another.
What needs to be done in Iraq is to illegitimize by US military fiat the SCIRI for being a terrorist group, and do the same to the Sadr-controlled groups. Then declare that every member of these group and associated militias will have one day to turn themselves in to the US military. If they do not do so, the US military will be given orders to find them and kill them on sight. This applies to every member, from the average militia member to Al-Hakim and Al-Sadr.
One argument against this strategy is that this will push the Shiites into outright revolt against the Americans. The counter-argument to that is that if that is true it will only cause a revolt because the Shiite political forces are not interested in stopping the sectarian violence, in which case they shouldn't be running the country in the first place. If there is not sufficient political support for ending the sectarian violence among the Shiites, then Iraq is fucked regardless, and we have no chance of saving it. However, I think beyond the religious supremacists, the majority of Iraqis think that the killing is horrific and will be happy to see everyone perpetrating the violence lying dead by the side of a road. If that is the case, once it becomes clear the US is serious about exterminating them, those who really care about Iraq's future will tell the US military everyone involved with the militias, and there will be nowhere for them to hide. If the country is worse off six months after beginning the plan than it is now, the plan isn't going to work, and there was never enough American military strength or Iraqi resolve to end the violence to have a chance of saving Iraq. At that point I'd recommend pulling forces out, and it hardly matters what is done afterwards, because nothing short of a massive relocation of the population in all parts of the country and implementation of an India-Pakistan-type partition will have any better chance of saving things. Also, partition is a viable plan to stop the sectarian violence if all the groups are completely relocated into separate nations, but in the long-term it will cause more instability and conflict than a unified Iraq would, on every issue from resources to boundaries to international relations.
And to the assholes who say I only think this is a good plan because the Iraqis are Arabs in a different country, fuck off. If what's happening in Iraq was occurring in my home state, I'd hope the US military would kill every one of those responsible with extreme prejudice. If the Iraqis don't want to eliminate the thugs, murderers, and associated religious demagogues, then nothing is going to work because the nation would be completely insane.
Before writing my ideas, I want to note someone who forsaw exactly what the most important issue for Iraq's future would be before the magnitude of the problem became clear. Stephen Biddle wrote an article in Foreign Affairs, "Seeing Baghdad, Thinking Saigon," that was published shortly before the bombing of the Al-Askari Mosque. From his article:
But if the debate in Washington is Vietnam redux, the war in Iraq is not. The current struggle is not a Maoist "people's war" of national liberation; it is a communal civil war with very different dynamics. Although it is being fought at low intensity for now, it could easily escalate if Americans and Iraqis make the wrong choices.
[...]
Rapid democratization, meanwhile, could be positively harmful in Iraq. In a Maoist people's war, empowering the population via the ballot box undermines the insurgents' case that the regime is illegitimate and facilitates nonviolent resolution of the inequalities that fuel the conflict. In a communal civil war, however, rapid democratization can further polarize already antagonistic sectarian groups[...]
The biggest problem with treating Iraq like Vietnam is Iraqization -- the main component of the current U.S. military strategy. In a people's war, handing the fighting off to local forces makes sense because it undermines the nationalist component of insurgent resistance, improves the quality of local intelligence, and boosts troop strength. But in a communal civil war, it throws gasoline on the fire. Iraq's Sunnis perceive the "national" army and police force as a Shiite-Kurdish militia on steroids. And they have a point: in a communal conflict, the only effective units are the ones that do not intermingle communal enemies[...]
The central challenge for Iraq's future is the sectarian conflict of today. The two major overt forces in this conflict are the Shia militias, primarily the Badr Brigade and Mahdi Army, and the Sunni terrorists, who are less unified. Their strategy is to kill or force out Iraqis of the other group. The terrorists seek to accomplish this by bombings of Shia communities or mosques. The militias operate by kidnapping and killing Sunnis, or ordering Sunnis to leave Shiite-majority neighborhoods under threat of death. The attacks on public institutions such as universities and hospitals can be mistaken as tangential to these goals, but are actually integral in driving out an educated middle-class that is opposed to sectarianism and are respected people in their communities.
The major covert forces in this conflict are Shia-subverted police and military forces that engage in kidnappings; Muqtada Al-Sadr and his political connections in the Iraqi government; and Abdul Aziz Al-Hakim, leader of the Badr Brigade and the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq (SCIRI). The political groups control 65 of the 275 seats in the Iraqi parliament. There are no major ties between the Sunni terrorists and the government or major figures so far. For this reason, the Sunni groups have been targeted with impunity, and represent a relatively minor long-term threat. If they evolve into something like the Shiite militias, then they will be a major threat and the country will be about to enter civil war as the violence goes from sectarian terrorist attacks to intercommunal warfare.
My proposal is simple, and its success or failure is dependent on two factors. The first factor is the competency of the US military to execute the plan, and the second factor is whether the Iraqi public wants to prevent a war. Beyond that, political factors, such as Bush being a coward and Congress being composed of self-centered ninnies, hinder the chances of this proposal ever being put in action. However, if the US military is capable of carrying out the plan, this will be the last major military action the US will have to undertake in Iraq, one way or another.
What needs to be done in Iraq is to illegitimize by US military fiat the SCIRI for being a terrorist group, and do the same to the Sadr-controlled groups. Then declare that every member of these group and associated militias will have one day to turn themselves in to the US military. If they do not do so, the US military will be given orders to find them and kill them on sight. This applies to every member, from the average militia member to Al-Hakim and Al-Sadr.
One argument against this strategy is that this will push the Shiites into outright revolt against the Americans. The counter-argument to that is that if that is true it will only cause a revolt because the Shiite political forces are not interested in stopping the sectarian violence, in which case they shouldn't be running the country in the first place. If there is not sufficient political support for ending the sectarian violence among the Shiites, then Iraq is fucked regardless, and we have no chance of saving it. However, I think beyond the religious supremacists, the majority of Iraqis think that the killing is horrific and will be happy to see everyone perpetrating the violence lying dead by the side of a road. If that is the case, once it becomes clear the US is serious about exterminating them, those who really care about Iraq's future will tell the US military everyone involved with the militias, and there will be nowhere for them to hide. If the country is worse off six months after beginning the plan than it is now, the plan isn't going to work, and there was never enough American military strength or Iraqi resolve to end the violence to have a chance of saving Iraq. At that point I'd recommend pulling forces out, and it hardly matters what is done afterwards, because nothing short of a massive relocation of the population in all parts of the country and implementation of an India-Pakistan-type partition will have any better chance of saving things. Also, partition is a viable plan to stop the sectarian violence if all the groups are completely relocated into separate nations, but in the long-term it will cause more instability and conflict than a unified Iraq would, on every issue from resources to boundaries to international relations.
And to the assholes who say I only think this is a good plan because the Iraqis are Arabs in a different country, fuck off. If what's happening in Iraq was occurring in my home state, I'd hope the US military would kill every one of those responsible with extreme prejudice. If the Iraqis don't want to eliminate the thugs, murderers, and associated religious demagogues, then nothing is going to work because the nation would be completely insane.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Best/Worst Case Scenarios - AFC Playoffs
[Note: #6 to #3 were written Jan. 5th, before the wild card games.]
#6: Kansas City Chief (Jan. 6 @ Indianapolis)
Best Case: Trent Green recovers his 2005 form and together with Larry Johnson decimate the Colts defense and advance to the second round @ San Diego. They win there in a shootout, and the strength vs. strength match-up with Baltimore brings Kansas City to the edge of the Super Bowl. After carrying the ball 450+ times this season, Larry Johnson fractures his femur in week 14 of the 2007 season, and returns to top form in 2008.
Worst Case: Trent Green is still not alright, and the Chiefs defense returns to 2004 form. Larry Johnson carries the ball 35 times for 250 yards and 3 TDs, but the Chiefs lose 27-49. After carrying the ball 450+ times this season, Larry Johnson tears both ACLs and a Lis Franc in week 3 of 2007, and never starts an NFL game again. Herm Edwards isn't fired.
#5: New York Jets (Jan. 7 @ New England)
Best Case: Eric Mangini defeats his mentor in the playoffs, and captivates the attention of the nation. The Jets defense steps up and defeats Martyball in round 2, and Mangini nearly coaches the overmatched Jets to a win over the Baltimore Ravens. The New York media lavishes attention upon the Jets and Mangini. Jets-fever spreads across the tri-state area.
Worst Case: Jets lose 3-14 to the Patriots on an awful January day, and everyone except the 300 actual Jets fans stop paying attention. The New York media goes back to talking about what's wrong with the New York Giants/Yankees/Knicks. Jets-fever is cured.
#4: New England Patriots (Jan. 7 vs. New York)
Best Case: The Patriots defense and WR corps comes together, and the 2006 Patriots begin to resemble the 2004 Patriots. Pats crush all opposition in their path to the Super Bowl.
Worst Case: Rodney Harrison is unavailable to play and is not disrespected. Patriots play like a weary team resting on its laurels, and snooze through a forgettable loss to the Jets. Sportwriters revoke genius tag from Bill Belichick. Tom Bady has surgery to repair a minor tear in his rotator cuff soon after the end of the Patriots season. Pats' fans violate the 5-year rule by complaining about the state of the team, further piss off rest of nation.
#3: Indianapolis Colts (Jan. 6 vs. Kansas City)
Best Case: Legendary QB play by Peyton Manning and power rushing by Joseph Addai cover for a defense that manages to approach adequacy and lead the Colts to a Super Bowl victory. Peyton Manning lauded as possibly the greatest QB ever.
Worst Case: Expected great play by Peyton cannot make up for an awful defense. Colts lose an offensive shootout with the Chiefs. Peyton Manning is made the goat by the press after throwing a 4th quarter interception. He finishes with 350 yards, 3 TDs, 75% completion rate, and 1 INT. Peyton Manning crticized as possibly the greatest choke artist ever.
#2: Baltimore Ravens (Jan. 13 vs. Indianapolis)
Best Case: Baltimore's defense humiliates Peyton Manning, while Baltimore's offense destroys whatever pride the Colts' defense still had. Baltimore defeats Martyball in the conference championship. The Ravens make quick work of the sacrificial offering from the NFC. Seven years after his team fell 1 yard short of a potential Super Bowl win, Steve McNair wins the big one. Brian Billick receives actual genius tag after winning two Super Bowls, and NFL skill position prospects look forward to playing for him. Old Baltimore fans don't miss the Colts.
Worst Case: Baltimore's defense inexplicably collapses against Peyton Manning and Joseph Addai. The incredible containment of Larry Johnson is repeated on Jamal Lewis, and Steve McNair is knocked out of the game
with an ACL tear in the first quarter, and Kyle Boller throws 4 picks. Brian Billick recieves national declaim. NFL skill position prospects want to stay the hell away from Baltimore. Indianapolis wins the Super Bowl. Baltimore Fans miss the Colts and compliment Peyton Manning as the greatest QB since Johnny U.
#1: San Diego Chargers
Best Case: The greatest season in Chargers history goes to its conclusion in Miami, and the Chargers win their first Lombardi, stunning their opponent with the aerial assault directed by first-year starter Philip Rivers and the incredible rushing of LT2. Sportswriters proclaim Marty Schottenheimer to be a Hall of Fame coach, and the 2006 San Diego Chargers are declared the greatest Chargers team ever.
Worst Case: "Martyball" returns, as the Chargers offense becomes hyper-conservative against the unpredictable Patriots defense. Bill Belichick shows Schottenheimer how a real Hall of Fame coach runs a team, and lays waste to the San Diego secondary as Tom Brady completes 75% of his passes for 4 TDs and 450 yards. Chargers lose 14-35. Effigies of Marty Schottenheimer are burnt in the streets by normally laid-back San Diegoans.
[Note: #6 to #3 were written Jan. 5th, before the wild card games.]
#6: Kansas City Chief (Jan. 6 @ Indianapolis)
Best Case: Trent Green recovers his 2005 form and together with Larry Johnson decimate the Colts defense and advance to the second round @ San Diego. They win there in a shootout, and the strength vs. strength match-up with Baltimore brings Kansas City to the edge of the Super Bowl. After carrying the ball 450+ times this season, Larry Johnson fractures his femur in week 14 of the 2007 season, and returns to top form in 2008.
Worst Case: Trent Green is still not alright, and the Chiefs defense returns to 2004 form. Larry Johnson carries the ball 35 times for 250 yards and 3 TDs, but the Chiefs lose 27-49. After carrying the ball 450+ times this season, Larry Johnson tears both ACLs and a Lis Franc in week 3 of 2007, and never starts an NFL game again. Herm Edwards isn't fired.
#5: New York Jets (Jan. 7 @ New England)
Best Case: Eric Mangini defeats his mentor in the playoffs, and captivates the attention of the nation. The Jets defense steps up and defeats Martyball in round 2, and Mangini nearly coaches the overmatched Jets to a win over the Baltimore Ravens. The New York media lavishes attention upon the Jets and Mangini. Jets-fever spreads across the tri-state area.
Worst Case: Jets lose 3-14 to the Patriots on an awful January day, and everyone except the 300 actual Jets fans stop paying attention. The New York media goes back to talking about what's wrong with the New York Giants/Yankees/Knicks. Jets-fever is cured.
#4: New England Patriots (Jan. 7 vs. New York)
Best Case: The Patriots defense and WR corps comes together, and the 2006 Patriots begin to resemble the 2004 Patriots. Pats crush all opposition in their path to the Super Bowl.
Worst Case: Rodney Harrison is unavailable to play and is not disrespected. Patriots play like a weary team resting on its laurels, and snooze through a forgettable loss to the Jets. Sportwriters revoke genius tag from Bill Belichick. Tom Bady has surgery to repair a minor tear in his rotator cuff soon after the end of the Patriots season. Pats' fans violate the 5-year rule by complaining about the state of the team, further piss off rest of nation.
#3: Indianapolis Colts (Jan. 6 vs. Kansas City)
Best Case: Legendary QB play by Peyton Manning and power rushing by Joseph Addai cover for a defense that manages to approach adequacy and lead the Colts to a Super Bowl victory. Peyton Manning lauded as possibly the greatest QB ever.
Worst Case: Expected great play by Peyton cannot make up for an awful defense. Colts lose an offensive shootout with the Chiefs. Peyton Manning is made the goat by the press after throwing a 4th quarter interception. He finishes with 350 yards, 3 TDs, 75% completion rate, and 1 INT. Peyton Manning crticized as possibly the greatest choke artist ever.
#2: Baltimore Ravens (Jan. 13 vs. Indianapolis)
Best Case: Baltimore's defense humiliates Peyton Manning, while Baltimore's offense destroys whatever pride the Colts' defense still had. Baltimore defeats Martyball in the conference championship. The Ravens make quick work of the sacrificial offering from the NFC. Seven years after his team fell 1 yard short of a potential Super Bowl win, Steve McNair wins the big one. Brian Billick receives actual genius tag after winning two Super Bowls, and NFL skill position prospects look forward to playing for him. Old Baltimore fans don't miss the Colts.
Worst Case: Baltimore's defense inexplicably collapses against Peyton Manning and Joseph Addai. The incredible containment of Larry Johnson is repeated on Jamal Lewis, and Steve McNair is knocked out of the game
with an ACL tear in the first quarter, and Kyle Boller throws 4 picks. Brian Billick recieves national declaim. NFL skill position prospects want to stay the hell away from Baltimore. Indianapolis wins the Super Bowl. Baltimore Fans miss the Colts and compliment Peyton Manning as the greatest QB since Johnny U.
#1: San Diego Chargers
Best Case: The greatest season in Chargers history goes to its conclusion in Miami, and the Chargers win their first Lombardi, stunning their opponent with the aerial assault directed by first-year starter Philip Rivers and the incredible rushing of LT2. Sportswriters proclaim Marty Schottenheimer to be a Hall of Fame coach, and the 2006 San Diego Chargers are declared the greatest Chargers team ever.
Worst Case: "Martyball" returns, as the Chargers offense becomes hyper-conservative against the unpredictable Patriots defense. Bill Belichick shows Schottenheimer how a real Hall of Fame coach runs a team, and lays waste to the San Diego secondary as Tom Brady completes 75% of his passes for 4 TDs and 450 yards. Chargers lose 14-35. Effigies of Marty Schottenheimer are burnt in the streets by normally laid-back San Diegoans.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Best/Worst Case Scenarios - NFC Playoffs
#6: New York Giants (Jan. 7th @ Philadelphia)
Best Case: After an unhappy season, a wild-card upset of the Eagles powered by excellent performances by Eli Manning and Tiki Barber restores team unity. A spirited effort against Chicago falls just short because of the accumulated injuries, but Tom Coughlin not only keeps his job but earns an extension. The New York press lauds the resilience of Coughlin, Manning, and Barber.
Worst Case: After an unhappy season, the Giants are lifeless from the moment they leave the tunnel in Philadelphia. Giants don't score a TD, while Manning plays on par with his previous playoff performance. Tiki Barber plays well despite facing eight men in the box, rips Coughlin and rest of team after game. Tom Coughlin is fired before he leaves the stadium. New York press declares open season on New York Giants' players.
#5: Dallas Cowboys (Jan. 6th @ Seattle)
Best Case: Cowboys rip through the NFC playoffs and make the Super Bowl. Owens catches 8 TDs in the run, and Romo is anointed as the next Aikman/Staubach. Bill Parcells swears he'll continue to coach the Cowboys as long as air flows through his lungs.
Worst case: Cowboys lose 35-3 at Seattle, as defense collapse and Tony Romo throws three picks. TO catches only one ball and drops two passes in the endzone. QB situation in Dallas still unclear, Parcells makes hints at a near retirement in postgame PC.
#4: Seattle Seahawks (Jan. 6th vs. Dallas)
Best Case: Hasselbeck and Alexander get it back together and play like they did in 2005, and the depleted and poor defense display some grit and poise, resulting in a win against the Cowboys and a surprise run deep into the playoffs. Grumbling in Seattle about Holmgren is permanently silenced. The legend of the 2005-2006 NFC West grows.
Worst Case: Hasselbeck and Alexander still look as hungover as they have since the start of the season, and the defense proves unable to stop the run or the pass. Seattle is embarrassed at home by a Cowboys team that lost to the Detroit Lions six days ago. Grumbling in Seattle about Mike Holmgren starts again. NFC West still laughing stock of the NFL.
#3: Philadelphia Eagles (Jan. 7th vs. Giants)
Best Case: With an improving defense and Jeff Garcia and Brian Westbrook leading an explosive offense, the Eagles defeat the Giants, Bears, and Cowboys to make the Super Bowl. The city of Philadelphia has a happy offseason, and sportswriters talk about an Eagles Dynasty.
Worst Case: Luck runs out on Jeff Garcia, and the defense proves unable to stop Tiki Barber in the final season of his career. Eagles lose at home after playing like they're just happy to be in the playoffs, and the city of Philadelphia goes into the offseason grumpy despite the regular season resurgence. No one talks about an Eagles Dynasty. Cowboys play in the Super Bowl.
#2: New Orleans Saints
Best Case: The Cinderella Season culminates in a Super Bowl victory. Drew Brees wins NFL MVP, and joins Archie Manning as the best QB in Saints history. Sean Payton wins Coach of the Year.
Worst Case: The Saints team that lost to Washington shows up in the second-round in a bad matchup. The Saints season ends in disappointment with an early exit from the playoffs. LT wins the MVP, and Eric Mangini is Coach of the Year.
#1: Chicago Bears
Best Case: The dynamic and poised young QB that was seen at the start of the season returns, and Rex Grossman leads an explosive Bears offense to match their defense. Da Bears win Da Super Bowl.
Worst Case: Bad Rex shows up in the second-round, and the defense continues its late-season swoon. The Bears are decimated in the second-round at home for a second-consecutive year, and Rex Grossman is burned in effigy in the streets.
#6: New York Giants (Jan. 7th @ Philadelphia)
Best Case: After an unhappy season, a wild-card upset of the Eagles powered by excellent performances by Eli Manning and Tiki Barber restores team unity. A spirited effort against Chicago falls just short because of the accumulated injuries, but Tom Coughlin not only keeps his job but earns an extension. The New York press lauds the resilience of Coughlin, Manning, and Barber.
Worst Case: After an unhappy season, the Giants are lifeless from the moment they leave the tunnel in Philadelphia. Giants don't score a TD, while Manning plays on par with his previous playoff performance. Tiki Barber plays well despite facing eight men in the box, rips Coughlin and rest of team after game. Tom Coughlin is fired before he leaves the stadium. New York press declares open season on New York Giants' players.
#5: Dallas Cowboys (Jan. 6th @ Seattle)
Best Case: Cowboys rip through the NFC playoffs and make the Super Bowl. Owens catches 8 TDs in the run, and Romo is anointed as the next Aikman/Staubach. Bill Parcells swears he'll continue to coach the Cowboys as long as air flows through his lungs.
Worst case: Cowboys lose 35-3 at Seattle, as defense collapse and Tony Romo throws three picks. TO catches only one ball and drops two passes in the endzone. QB situation in Dallas still unclear, Parcells makes hints at a near retirement in postgame PC.
#4: Seattle Seahawks (Jan. 6th vs. Dallas)
Best Case: Hasselbeck and Alexander get it back together and play like they did in 2005, and the depleted and poor defense display some grit and poise, resulting in a win against the Cowboys and a surprise run deep into the playoffs. Grumbling in Seattle about Holmgren is permanently silenced. The legend of the 2005-2006 NFC West grows.
Worst Case: Hasselbeck and Alexander still look as hungover as they have since the start of the season, and the defense proves unable to stop the run or the pass. Seattle is embarrassed at home by a Cowboys team that lost to the Detroit Lions six days ago. Grumbling in Seattle about Mike Holmgren starts again. NFC West still laughing stock of the NFL.
#3: Philadelphia Eagles (Jan. 7th vs. Giants)
Best Case: With an improving defense and Jeff Garcia and Brian Westbrook leading an explosive offense, the Eagles defeat the Giants, Bears, and Cowboys to make the Super Bowl. The city of Philadelphia has a happy offseason, and sportswriters talk about an Eagles Dynasty.
Worst Case: Luck runs out on Jeff Garcia, and the defense proves unable to stop Tiki Barber in the final season of his career. Eagles lose at home after playing like they're just happy to be in the playoffs, and the city of Philadelphia goes into the offseason grumpy despite the regular season resurgence. No one talks about an Eagles Dynasty. Cowboys play in the Super Bowl.
#2: New Orleans Saints
Best Case: The Cinderella Season culminates in a Super Bowl victory. Drew Brees wins NFL MVP, and joins Archie Manning as the best QB in Saints history. Sean Payton wins Coach of the Year.
Worst Case: The Saints team that lost to Washington shows up in the second-round in a bad matchup. The Saints season ends in disappointment with an early exit from the playoffs. LT wins the MVP, and Eric Mangini is Coach of the Year.
#1: Chicago Bears
Best Case: The dynamic and poised young QB that was seen at the start of the season returns, and Rex Grossman leads an explosive Bears offense to match their defense. Da Bears win Da Super Bowl.
Worst Case: Bad Rex shows up in the second-round, and the defense continues its late-season swoon. The Bears are decimated in the second-round at home for a second-consecutive year, and Rex Grossman is burned in effigy in the streets.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Go Green Man Group!
Quote from the Rolling Stones "You Can't Always Get What You Want"
You can't always get, what you want.
You can't always get, what you want.
You can't always get, what you want.
But if you try sometimes, you might find,
you get what you need!
Quote from the Rolling Stones "You Can't Always Get What You Want"
Thursday, November 09, 2006
